|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
I play as much golf as my time allows,throughout the year.Mainly on the T.S.G.
This also includes when my sons are on their breaks from college during the summer months.
My young fella who is 17 and has disabillities with Autism and A.D.H.D.often asks when I going out next,and can he come with me.
He has been out on several occassions with me not playing just walking the course and operaing my powa caddy.
Then sometimes wondering off in the rough to look for lost golf balls.
I have never had any problem with other members on this issue and was wondering if any other members might find the grounds to object to him comming with me in future games.
I would love to hear some comments.I always notify the club I am playing at first.
Just another thread to keep the forum going !!!!!!!!!!!!!
JACK
|
|
|
Mark Tucknott
Handicap: 30
Essex
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 98
|
I think it’s a good question to post here, as so long as people are honest, and prepared to post on the subject, you’ll end up knowing who is and isn’t happy to play under the conditions you asking about.
Each to their own, Jack. My personal opinion is you should ask others by PM if they mind? The reason by PM is they are more likely to give an honest answer. By posting on an open forum some (not me personally) feel intimidated to go with the flow, even though deep down they have reservations.
Me personally it’s a straight NO.
Whilst I understand yours, and others predicaments, for me I work my arse off all week, so when I choose to do things in my spare time, I want to be doing in my comfort zone, which doesn’t include the possible scenarios which could unfold.
|
|
|
John Amos
Handicap: 36
Essex
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 66
|
What could be better than being on a golf course with your son! Has he been able to play at all, Jack? No doubt you've got some old clubs he could try!
As your son has been with you when you play, you've probably made him fully aware of golf course etiquette and he knows how to behave around other players. Presumably, he can help locate balls, rake bunkers and attends the flag on the green as well?
As long as it's ok with the golf club, I would not have any objection here, but you're right to ask the question. Obviously it is unacceptable that any caddie/visitor puts other players off, but I suppose you wouldn't think of bringing your son along if you thought this even a remote possibility?
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
The main reason my lad comes with me on the occasions that allow is it is not fair to leave him at home with dearly beloved,because my other son has the same condition.too.
Copping with the pair of them together while I am out golfing you have to give and take.
My lad enjoys the game,and can hit a mean ball when I take him out playing on my own,he can hit a driver off the tee,but his distance control is a factor he can't recognise,not knowing what club to use.I have tried till I am blue in the face to explain to him but his condition doesn't allow him to understand.
He knows all the rules raking bunkers,putting back divots etc,he would put many of us to shame,he has even been Known to confront people when they have not conformed.
He does it to me often enough!!!!!!!!!
He does know how to behave,the point is tho' would he be welcome in your fourball walking round with us?
Lets have some more posts guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jack
|
|
|
David Smith
Handicap: 36
surrey
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 73
|
No problem for me my youngest son 3 has Autism and I look forward to the day I can take him to the course and driving range. My eldest son is 6 and has joined me on the course and range since he was 3. I have enjoyed every minute of my time on the course with my son (good and bad) and I know my youngest will present a challenge but thats my test ..
Just remember as the rules of golf state, If you can't do whats right do whats fair.
|
|
|
Ian Mullins
Handicap: 20
Essex
Pro Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 378
|
Hmmm... this is a really difficult one!
On the one hand I think is a lot to ask your fellow playing partner to accommodate your situation, especially when they are no way as familiar with your boys condition and as such could be quite unsettling to some, if not uncomfortable. I also sympathise with the view that when you have worked hard all week and you are looking forward to your golf that you would not want any distraction, however small.
However, my heart says that we should all be a little more accepting of these little things that make us different from each other and should try to accommodate the situation. Who knows, this unfortunate condition could happen to any of us.
I believe it is up to the individual to decide this for themselves and it is something that should be gauged on a game by game, player by player basis, and as such the organiser/golfer (in this case you Jack) should be equally as understanding if a playing partner (or any anyone in the group) states his desire for you not to bring your son.
I for one have not yet had the pleasure of being in the presence of an autistic child but its one that I am sure I would be enriched by, and as such, if the child concerned is considered well behaved enough to be invited, we should all make allowances if we can.
Not sure that makes me fall on one side or the other but at the end of the day its about mutual respect on all sides......
I hope that helps!
Ian
|
|
|
David Smith
Handicap: 36
surrey
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 73
|
Just wondering if a "like" option on comments would help so people could vote.
|
|
|
Ian Mullins
Handicap: 20
Essex
Pro Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 378
|
Hi David,
This can be done via the 'Polls & Surveys' option in the forum choices when you start a new thread....
Perhaps we should make this a piece in the Newsletter?
Regards
Ian
|
|
|
Dennis Conway
Handicap: 27
MIDDLESEX
|
Jack,your lad is special,I am certain 99 per cent of people on this site would play with you
|
|
|
Mark Tucknott
Handicap: 30
Essex
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 98
|
Dennis Conway wrote:Jack,your lad is special,I am certain 99 per cent of people on this site would play with you
Intresting comment, when you consider 262 views, but only 9 comments? I think if people were so welcoming they would post to say so
|
|
|
Roger Akerman
Handicap: 13
East Sussex
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 118
|
Jack I adminre your courage in putting this up for comment, as far as i am concerned your son is a special human being and should be treated as such,there are far to many preduices in this world of ours, and if anyone cannot accomadate your son for just 4hrs of thier lives, then in my book they are pritty poor individuals.
We all work hard in our live's, possibly not as hard as you have to looking after your sons, so to this end if you want to take him with you, you should do so, I hope that there are many of us on this site that would not object to him coming along.
So come on guys stop just reading this and give a brave dad & son your support
|
|
|
Howard (The Ass...
Handicap: 25
London
Pro Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 52
|
JACKS SON IS SPECIAL,so come on golfers post your comments and lets show those who think otherwise
what poor human beings they are.
|
|
|
Roger Akerman
Handicap: 13
East Sussex
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 118
|
Mark nobody is hiding behind a keyboard as you put it, just expressing our opinions as you have done.
|
|
|
David Allchorne
Handicap: 16
HERTS
Pro Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 57
|
Although personally I have no problem at all playing golf with jack and his son, don't forget that jack posted the subject in the first place and asked for honest assessments, so we can't really criticize people for doing just that even if it isn't what we want to hear.
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
david allchorne wrote: Although personally I have no problem at all playing golf with jack and his son, don't forget that jack posted the subject in the first place and asked for honest assessments, so we can't really criticize people for doing just that even if it isn't what we want to hear.
Well said Mr Allchorne, It does'nt bother me playing with Jack or Andy's son as quite honestly some members frustrate me more than a Autism and A.D.H.D. son ever will  .
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
Message was deleted by User.
|
|
|
Adam Whitmee
Handicap: 36
West Sussex
|
I think you are doing the right thing by asking people, perhaps when posting a game just note that your son will be in attendance. Some may feel a bit uncomfortable with it - I have no experience of Autism or ADHD, so would be a little aprehensive.
Well done on addressing a difficult topic....
Good luck
|
|
|
Colin (66.6) Sa...
Handicap: 19
Hertfordshire
|
Jack ,you know if your lad has the adequate etiquette on the golf course and good for you in encouraging him to walk round with you . I for one have absouloutly no objection whatsoever and I think you are doing the right thing by mentioning your intentions to other players in the game.
|
|
|
Nigel Whittaker
Handicap: 36
South Yorkshire
|
Jack, i wouldnt have an issue with it personally but i think i would be a bit dubious if it was in a comp (not that i play that in many comps) my other half is a teacher in a special needs school and i know that some are more able than others.
I think you would have to play this one by ear and ask the guys your due to play with before hand. you would need a yes from all players in your round tho you couldnt do it if just 1 other said no.
cheers Nige
|
|
|
Robert Nichols
Handicap: 36
NORFOLK
|
Jack having experiance with Autisum and ADHD i am wondering how your son may be effected by some of the rants and anger that sadly come out on a course on the odd occasion.
I do know and have seen how this behaviour can affect those with Autisum reading this as not just a frustration release but as real aggression.
Other than that i can not see as long as each player agree's why there should be any problem and see it as no diffrent then when my girls where young and walked and played at a snails pace.
Good luck with your games
ROB
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
If you have Knowledge of these conditions Rob you will know autism effects the individaul in totally different ways
As with my 2 sons,Daniel who comes to golf with me loves the game,and at times can go O.T.T. with it,
it is one of his few interests along with fishing.
If the interest is there it makes it so much easier because he veiws golf as tho' it has a purpose in his life,and has become what we know as a hotspot.
Along with the Daily medication he has to take,(concerta) calms and slows him down,so he is in control and understands life much easier.The anger and rants,he can expose are very few and far between,because his attention is focused on golf.
cheers
Jack 9.5
|
|
|
Andy (fingers c...
Handicap: 13
Essex
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 63
|
Robert ADHD doesn't always mean a violent aggression from an individual, in fact with my lad, it is the aggressiveness and constant swearing of the golfers that are the problem for my son as he may pick up and copy the words used.
In this wonderful area known as essex, I am fortunate that the vast majority have no issue with my son being on the course with them. And in the 8-12-16 player games I see no reason why there wont be 3 golfers out of the bunch who have no objection to my boy and me in a 4.
be happy and keep whacking them golf balls guys.
Andy
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
Having played both with Jack and Andy, as we play friendly games, I would never have any objections with their sons acting as "caddies". If it was a competition/tournament, that could be a different option. I presume as previous, they would notify if their sons were accompanying them, and it would be up to each individual player if they wish to play or not
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
|
if I was playing in any serious competition,I would not even consider bring my son with me,I dont play in competions or large events very often.
I have been out on society days with him,these are purley social events tho' nothing serious.I have to take each game as it comes.
Then make the choice if Dan could come with me.
|
|
|
Ian Mullins
Handicap: 20
Essex
Pro Member
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 378
|
Hi All,
I thought I would try to draw a line under this very interesting and important debate (especially in light of the recent wave of goodwill following the 2012 Paralympics success) by letting you know I had the pleasure of playing with both Jack and Andy (who brought his son with him) yesterday. And can honestly say I found the whole experience very humbling.
Learning about this condition for the first time, can I start by saying that I take my hat off to anyone who has the patience and temerity to live on a day to day basis with this unfortunate condition, as listening to both Jack and Andy, it is clearly a full time job and one that must from require a lot of patience.
However, the 'sympathetic vote' out of the way, I can honestly say I found Matthew to have an excellent temperament. And to be fair, apart from the maybe the odd minor comment during the whole round (and never when I was mid swing) I can honestly say I hardly noticed he was there. Matthew was both very respectful of me and his father, and always waited quietly as we teed off and between shots - of course, I couldn't say the same about his Dad!
Anyway, just to reassure everyone, if Andy or Jack does ask you if they can bring there sons to a game, please do not be afraid of this condition in any way, on the contrary, see it as an opportunity to broaden your outlook on life and see it as opportunity to appreciate how lucky some of us are, who don't have the same level of commitment and who probably wouldn't be able to cope with such pressures anyway.
Regards
Ian
Ps Please DO NOT see this posting as anything other than a reference to my own personal experience on the course with Matthew. I still believe that it is the TSGers individual views that are to be taken into account before either Andy or Jack invite their sons when playing in TSG arranged games. However, equally, don't be too quick to assume that Matthew's attendance will spoil your enjoyment of the day, as on the contrary, I found I was enriched by the experience! :-)
|
|
|
|
TSG
|
