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Nathaniel Gleed
Handicap: 36
Essex
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 74
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Nat moved from Wanstead to are local golf club, I do not drive so can walk there takes about ½ a hour I really liked Wanstead people really friendly, Nat had friends he could play with he has been with his new club coming up to 9 months it has a very good junior section 3 of the boys his age have got into the Essex Coaching for the first time, they have regular comps where Wanstead has not got any my son can go in for they do them by age not ability. In the summer he had friends to play with at new club but his friends do not play in the winter so now the boys who are going to the Essex Coaching will not play with him this has been going on for a few months, today yet again he had to go round with just me walking round with him, one of the boys said to him are you going round Nat said yes he then said who are you going round with to that I said no one as no one here will play with him thinking that the boy would take pity and ask him to join in with him and his friend but nothing,, Nat was really up set so did not play well today you could see in in his face he said I do not want to join here if they are so snobby. I do not have a lot of money Nat mostly pays for hias own golf if I have any money I help these boys have parents who are very rich and pay for every thing they look down on my son think that they are better golfers then him he got into the Essex coaching as well so is just as good it is just taking away his confidence completely it has really upset me today. I am worried because we have moved from on golf club to this one now if I move him again then Essex Coaching people might look upon that as bad and not accept him next year. I need advice what would you do if it was your son. One of these boys uncle is one of the junior organisers so can not say any thing to them.
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Carol Bellis
Handicap: 36
Kent
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 76
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Sorry to say this Heather, but I don't think you are doing Nat any favours. From your comments it seems you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder re the other 'wealthier' boys and this is rubbing off on Nat. I've seen this happen more than once - the parent drags round behind the kid, accusing other people of not wanting to play with their child and sure enough - none of the other kids want to play with them and your own child becomes more unhappy. When the other boy asked Nat if he was going round, what was to stop Nat saying " Yes, why don't you join me - then I can dump my Mum?" That would have broken the ice at least! Alternatively, he could ring one of them and be honest - say he's finding it difficult to get a game during the winter, ask if they'd meet up for a game. I think we all worry far too much about our kids fitting in, when I'm sure he's more than capable of finding his own niche and becoming a good golfer as well!
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Nathaniel Gleed
Handicap: 36
Essex
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 74
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I have to walk my son to the golf course it takes 1/2 and 1/2 back have left him there and got back and he has asked for me to come and get him no one will play with him he is not aloud to go round by him self so if i drove it would not be 2 bad. He is now going back to his old club we left because it was a 30 ,45 min bus ride he gets bus sick, he has friends to play with there had not any problem there so every body loves him new club has a better junior section but the boys are very snoby so I would rather my son was happy. I dont want to trail round after him have better things to do than trail after my son he is a good player and do not see why his game should sufer because he is not aloud to go round on his own and no one else will go round with him Carol you are so wrong you prob do not have any young children. who have been treated like this
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,955
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Heather, What a difficult situation you and your young lad are in. I acknowledge that certain aspects of golf especially private clubs can be elitist, but that aside I must agree with Carol in that your presence on course may affect Nat’s chances of mixing with the other junior's at his new club. I would suggest that you speak with the clubs committee member in charge of the junior's and ask if it would be possible for him / her to introduce Nat to more like minded younger members in order for him to meet and interact without any grownups hovering around in the background, that way Nat may feel more at ease. With a little luck he will come out his shell and make some new friends and continue playing the game he loves so much. Finally I personally think your flippant remark with regards to Carol B’s lack of understanding with regards to younger children are misplaced and unjustified as her post reads pretty well too me with plenty of positive feedback in order to help you out of your current situation. Kind Regards Dale Strachan
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Russell Middlet...
Handicap: 36
Essex
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 387
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I had the pleasure of a round of golf with Nat last week. He is a good player and will certainly be a single figure golfer, and before he's 16 I would say. I'd say to Heather that Nat should join my club but to be honest my club is in the middle of nowhere so him getting there would be a problem! And we don't have a large junior section because of this. Maybe Heather should stay in the clubhouse whilst Nat goes out, but if he's not allowed out on his own what else can she do? This is another classic case of a good, up and coming youngster who is being ignored by the golf clubs where he's a member of! I was playing golf last weekend but I could be up to take Nat around the Priors again this Sunday, I'll contact you Heather. Russ
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Nathaniel Gleed
Handicap: 36
Essex
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 74
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Thanks Rus we are going back to Wanstead he has boys to play with there one of his friends dad is a 8 or 6 handy cap and is really good with the boys, he was saying that very soon Nat will be able to go into the adult comps I would rather travel I do not go into the club house at his new club do not feel welcome there are a few old boys who have made me welcome but like I said its a very snoby club. A lady who works in the bar has a little girl who is 8 and really keen on golf the members where really keen for her to come along as they do not have any girls in the junior secton little girl was really enjoying her self when her mum was working she used to come along and pritice, she was told that this was ok, one of the junior boys dads is not very nice his hole family are members, he put is 2 fingers up at this little girl and she heard him say I can not belive thIs, the lady complained in the end the lady was told that her daughter could not come along, she is really up set as is the little girl, her mother can not do any thing else dose not want to lose her job.
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Nathaniel Gleed
Handicap: 36
Essex
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 74
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Nat went back to his old club played with his friend he is a diferent boy really enjoyed himself. His old club ofered me a good deal said that they would pay for 1 coaching session per month £25 they really want Nat to stay, it was a really good offer but if they made the other boys play with him Nat would still not feel comfortable knowing that hey did not really want to go round with him, he siad he want to go back so I feel his happyness is more important then money he will get his handy cap down now, he is so happy to be back as am I as I know all the members there
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