Golf terminology explained...
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - looked straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needed one more revolution
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Saddam Hussein - from one bunker straight into another
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Glen Miller - didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Sally Gunnell - ugly, but a good runner
A Liz McColgan - Ugly but runs forever
